Subject: In The News 

A study shows that a woman's breast feeding isn't adversely affected by
aerobics. It was found, however, to be pretty distracting to guys in the
class.

Researchers are also looking into whether a blood pressure medication
can be used as a male contraceptive. What a combination - once you know
she's not pregnant, your blood pressure goes down even more.

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Subject: Is Your Head Going to Blow Up?

Don't Even Think About It

The Internet has been abuzz lately with a worrisome health alert. It seems
intense mental activity can trigger a rare brain disorder called
hyper-cerebral electrosis, resulting in a rather messy explosion. Chess
players and others with great powers of concentration are especially at risk.
Worried? Take the following diagnostic quiz, titled "How to Tell if Your
Head's About to Blow up." A "yes" to any three of the following seven
questions could mean that you have the disorder. The original source for the
alert and the quiz: The Weekly World News, a Florida-based tabloid. Still
worried?

1. Does your head sometimes ache when you think too hard? (Head pain can
   indicate overloaded brain circuits.)
2. Do you ever hear a faint ringing or humming sound in you ears? (Is could
   be the sound of electricity in the skull cavity.)
3. Do you sometimes find yourself unable to get a thought out of your head?
   (This is a possible sign of too much electrical activity in the cerebral
   cortex.)
4. Do you spend more than five hours a day reading, balancing your checkbook,
   or other thoughtful activity? (A common symptom of hyper-cerebral electrosis
   is a tendency to overuse the brain.)
5. When you get angry or frustrated do you feel pressure in your temples?
   (Friends of several people who died say the victims often complained of head
   pressure in times of strong emotion.)
6. Do you ever overeat ice cream, doughnuts, and other sweets? (A craving for
   sugar is typical of people with too much electrical pressure in the cranium.)
7. Do you ten to analyze yourself too much? (Sufferers are often introspective, 
   "overthinking" their lives.)

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Subject: Humor: Job Recommendations for that fired employee...

Have to write a letter of recommendation for that fired employee?
Here are a few suggested phrases:

For the Chronically Absent:
        "A man like him is hard to find"
        "It seemed her career was just taking off"

For the office drunk:
        "I feel his real talent is wasted here"
        "We generally found him loaded with work to do"

For an employee with no ambition
        "He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in"

A stupid employee:
        "There is nothing you can teach a man like him"

A dishonest employee:
        "His true ability was deceiving"
        "She's an unbelieveable worker"

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Subject: Nursing Home

A nursing home resident was celebrating his 100th birthday.  A stunning
young woman knocked gently on his door.  He asked her what she needed.  She
entered the room, closing the door behind her and said, "Your friends went
together and bought you a very special birthday present."

He asked, "Wh-wh-what is it?"

She responded, "Super sex."

After thinking for a few seconds he said, "I think I'll have the soup."

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