THE INTELLIGENT HUMAN'S GUIDE TO COWS AND POLITICS
     
SOCIALISM:  You have two cows.  Give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM:  You have two cows.  Give them both to the government.
Government gives you milk.

FASCISM:  You have two cows.  Give milk to the government.  Government
sells it.

NAZISM:  Government shoots you and takes your cows.

NEW DEALISM:  Government shoots one cow, milks the other, and pours the
milk down the sink.

CAPITALISM:  Slaughter cows.  Compete with McDonald's 

ANARCHISM:  Keep cows.  Shoot government.  Steal another cow. 

CONSERVATISM:  Freeze milk.  Nuke cows.

LIBERALISM:  Give the milk back to the cows.  Set them free.
   -River Valley Voice

RADICAL:  Knock down the fence.  Teach the cows to milk themselves. 

BUDISM:  Make Ovaltine with the milk.  Fluff cows for use as pillows.