40 Ways YOU Can Help Destroy the Earth!
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People these days are constantly harping about the upcoming Armageddon.  But
WHEN is the world going to finally end? Most people don't realize it can't
happen without THEIR help.   Below are a few little things YOU can do to 
help end the world.

1. Use motor oil to fertilize your lawn.
2. Feed lead to Pigeons.
3. Vacation by your local polluted river.
4. Serve Chlorofluorocarbons as appetizers at your next party.
5. Find the remaining woodland in your town and use it for kindling.
6. Leave your car running all day.
7. Drive to the bathroom.
8. Spray your yard with DDT and not those other wimpy pesticides.
9. Pour Agent Orange into local reservoir to enhance flavor.
10. Only wear polyester, and never more than once.
11. Become a megalomaniac and gain control of vast nuclear stockpiles. Use
    them.
12. Dump your food leftovers into the recycling bin.
13. Keep the Bubonic Plague virus around as a lovable, low maintenance pet.
14. Use at least three gallons of water for each tooth when brushing
15. Create an oil slick in your back yard for fun science experiment for the
    kids
16. Have 37 children
17. Name them all Bill.
18. Strangle a bald eagle
19. Spread Styrofoam balls all over your lawn for winter fun all year round
20. e-mail Al Gore petitioning to test nuclear arms above ground in major
    cities.
21. Wage chemical warfare in local elementary school. It's fun and easy!
22. Experiment in biotoxins buy not burying dead pets.
23. Offer free cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs to pregnant mothers.
24. Own at least 43 televisions per person per household and watch them all
    at once.
25. Build a simple coal burning power plant in your basement.
26. Remove your catalytic converter and  muffler. They just ruin the fun.
27. Aim X-ray machine at unsuspecting patients in Dentist's office.
28. Sunscreen? It's for wimps.
29. Carve holes in the ozone layer. They make great gifts.
30. Drive a M-1A Abrams tank to work. 
31. Disrupt local mass transit with campaign of terror.
32. Develop condominium complex in beautiful Chernobyl.
33. Fart 40 times or more a day.
34. Develop a secret neurotoxin that makes females pregnant with dinosaurs.
35. Buy something you don't need every day, three times a day. Dump it 
    on the freeway.
36. Defecate in reservoirs.
37. Work for the government.
38. Aerosol hairspray can be used for a lot more than personal grooming!
    Putting up posters, cooking lubricant, antiperspirant, ant and roach 
    killer, personal defense, and party favors.
39. Burn your own garbage for fun and profit.
40. Encase dead relatives in Lucite blocks.  

We hope that these simple ideas will inspire you to create your own methods
to drag this planet further into its grave.   Every person counts!


Reproduced without permission, but what the hell.