IJMC - I Think They Forgot One

I propose the following: 11. Wedding planning would take an afternoon, not
three months. So there. As if I am gonna get married anytime soon...first
I would have to find someone to put up with me that long! Today has been
fairly uneventful. Tried to donate blood at work, they labored over
whether to let me because of a bovine collagen graft I had last
year. Then, they took my blood, all good. Except for two hours later they
realized that part of where I vacationed in Thailand is a malaria zone. I
think they threw that blood out. So I did not really donate. Then, there
was work. Met my new boss, she's cool. All good. Follow that with two
loads of laundry, mowing my lawn, and exercise. Time for dinner. As I
said, kinda uneventful day. To mention, for those who do not know, and
might care, I bought a house five months ago tomorrow. Therefore, the lawn
to mow. No more apartments for me, at least for a few months...      -dave






WHAT IF MEN WERE IN CHARGE OF WEDDINGS?

1. There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger" Party.

2. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue-jean cutoffs and halter-tops.

3. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have
matching team colors.

4. Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that
"forsaking all others" part.

5. The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '69 Camaro or some
other Chevy with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car.
Better yet, a Harley!

6. Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of Best Man.

7. Tailgate receptions.

8. Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or
buckets of chicken, pizza, and plenty of barbecue.

9. The "bride's father pays" tradition could stay.

10. All dance-floor songs would be by Iggy and the Stooges, Ted Nugent,
the Smashing Pumpkins, 2Pac, and Sir Mix-A-Lot.