IJMC All the Answers Revealed

                   IJMC - All the Answers Revealed

Ok, maybe not, but in my current state it seemed a fair statement to 
claim. Allow me to simply say, my cup runneth over. Poured from the rum 
bottle, it runneth over. One of those times when I desire to keep at the 
same level of intoxication forever...knowing that I cannot though, for at 
some time the alcohol would runneth out. Alas, but for a longer night to 
pass in which to enjoy the spendor of altered states. Instead, share with 
me...for I have a revelation. The Lincoln LS car commercial makes perfect 
sense when swimming in rum-induced bliss...                         -dave

  1.  Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

  2.  Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

  3.  If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

  4.  If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

  5.  Why do we say something is out of whack?  What is a whack?

  6.  Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

  7.  Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

  8.  Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?

  9.  Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

  10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

  11. Why is it call "after dark" when it really is "after light" ?

  12. Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

  13. Why are a 'wise man' and a 'wise guy' opposites?

  14. Why do 'overlook and 'oversee' mean opposite things?

  15. Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?

  16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

  17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

  18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

  20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

  21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when 
      you know the batteries are dead?

  22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

  24. Why do we wash bath towels?  Aren't we clean when we use them?

  25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

  26. Why do they call it a TV set, when you only get one?

IJMC November 1999 Archives