IJMC - Dangerous One Liners

I'm sure you've seen some of these somewhere before, yet I haven't seen 
all of the myself. So, duplicates or not, out they all go, from me to 
you. On the subject of one-liners, I found one a couple days ago that I'd 
like to make into a bumper sticker...

     I drive the speed limit. If you don't like it, call the cops.

...I can just see that yuppie in the sport's utility vehicle...trapped 
behind me going slower than he wants...calling the cops on his nifty cell 
phone...which begs the question...is attempted speeding a crime?    -dave



If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs?
Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your
two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  It's just stale bread to
begin with.

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who
drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I Do." is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that

electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1billion stars in the

universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet
paint you
will have to touch it to be sure?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from
Holland called "Holes?"