IJMC A Doggy Deluge

                        IJMC - A Doggy Deluge

I picked on cats so I pick on dogs. Difference is, I like dogs more. But 
then, I like both animals, I just have preferences. So, read on about da 
pooches.                                                           -dav


Things Dogs Must Try To Remember...

    I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the

    The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

    I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the
coffee table.

    I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

    I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

    I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.

    I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet  in
the house when I am about to throw up.

    I will not throw up in the car.

    I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

    "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.

    I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard
after processing.

    The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

    I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom

    I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

    I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my
people will think I am hemorrhaging.

    When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down
when it's raining outside.

    We do not have a doorbell.  I will not bark each time I hear one on  TV.

    I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard
with it.

    The sofa is not a face towel.  Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.

    My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

    I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Dad's driver's
license and car registration.

IJMC August 1999 Archives