IJMC The Electronic Redneck Deluge

                IJMC - The Electronic Redneck Deluge

Wait a minute, thar's a Daisy Duke screensaver? Awh, man, I been missing 
out. All this time I have been running the Seti@Home screensaver when I 
could have been looking at sweet Miss Daisy Duke? Granted, I can usually 
just turn on the cable and see the good ole General Lee on one or two of 
the various network stations...but that just is not the same as having it 
up on your screen when your system is doing nothing...              -dave

- You might be a high-tech redneck if...

- Your e-mail address ends in "@over.yonder.com."

- You connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home   Page."

- If the bumper sticker on your truck says, "My other computer is a laptop."

- Your laptop has a sticker that says, "Protected by Smith and Wesson."

- You've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.

- Your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.

- You wire your network with jumper cables.

- Your wife said either she or the computer had to go, and you still don't miss her.

- You've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your drink on.

- You ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."

- Three Words:  Daisy Duke Screensaver

- You start all your e-mails with the words, "Howdy y'all."

- Your spell checker knows words like, "Y'all", "Yonder", and "Reckon."

- Your cars sit in the yard because your garage is full of dead CPUs, printers, modems and monitors.

- Your belt buckle is made from a dead 3.5" disk drive.

- You ever felt you had to move your computer desk so it didn't block the velvet picture of Elvis.

- Yer mouse keeps knocking over yer spitcan.

- Smith & Wesson...the original Point-N-Click interface.

- When you're friends comment on your "nice boots" and you say, "Yea, thanks. Its my spiffy, new Phoenix BIOS."

- When your wife catches you again with your "Farm Animals of the Orient" CD-ROM.

- When you order your new pick-up truck with a gun rack and PCMCIA sockets.

- Your PC Games collection consists of nothing but Bass Fishing tournament games.

- You only buy from GateWay, 'cause the cow-colored boxes are a hoot.

IJMC August 1999 Archives