IJMC A Small Deluge of Corporate Lessons

               IJMC - A Small Deluge of Corporate Lessons

I think I should tell you something. Sending out these posts with The 
Texas Chainsaw Massacre playing in the next room puts a whole different 
slant on things...what that slant is, I do not entirely know, nor do I 
really wish to think about too much. I just know that I am not thinking 
about all of this as I usually would...                           -dave


 Lesson Number One

 A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A
 small rabbit noticed the crow, and asked, "Can I sit
 like you and do nothing all day long?"

 The crow answered, "Sure, why not."
 So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

 All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

 Moral Of The Story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you
 must be sitting very, very high up.

 Lesson Number Two

 A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be
 able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,
 "but I haven't got the energy."

 "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
 replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

 The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it
 actually gave him enough strength to reach the first
 branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some
 more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, after
 a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

 Soon, though, the turkey was promptly spotted by a
 farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

 Moral Of The Story: Bullshit might get you to the top,
 but it won't keep you there.

 Lesson Number Three

 When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to
 be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I
 control all of the body's responses and functions."

 The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the
 brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
 The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do
 all the work and earn all the money."

 Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at
 the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole
 went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
 Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands
 clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began
 to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all
 decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the
 motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work
 while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

 Moral Of The Story:
 You don't need brains to be a Boss -- any asshole will do.

IJMC August 1999 Archives