IJMC John Forster Lyrics

                     IJMC - John Forster Lyrics

So I have taken most of three weeks off...and then when I return I only=20
post sporatically. Soooo, I guess I should be sending out my nightly=20
email a bit more frequently...pick up the pace, feel the groove, hop back=
in the saddle, or whatever you would like to call it. I suppose we will=20
all find out tomorrow if I managed to or not...                     -dave

P.S. Of course, once I get back in the swing of things, remember, I have=20
about three weeks worth to catch up...that will keep us all busy!

These Lyrics are reprinted for educational and critical purposes.  I'm for

Hence Fair Use!!!!  This guy is sort of a Tom Lehrer/Tom Paxton type..
only his name is John Forster.=20

From=20the "All Purpose Carol"

     I'm Christian and I'm Jewish and of African descent.
     I've always found the Holidays a difficult event.
     So on the first day of Chanukah my true love sang to me
     This new all-purpose carol
     For trimming a hybrid kind of tree.

     Merry Christmas. Happy Chanukah. Kwanzaa time is here.
     It's that Fa-la-la Deidle-dum Jambo-jambo time of year.
     Gloria... Boruch Ato... In excelsis deo.
     Daylight come.
     The drummer boy drum.
     The angels fly away-oh.

     There is no Christmas/Chanukah/Kwabzaa storyline per se-oh.
     So take your favorite parts from each and tell it your own way-oh.

     'Twas on an ancient solstice night
     'Neath a Kilamanjaro star
     That Judas Maccabee hitched a ride
     With his good friend Balthasar.
     To a stable mean where Mary and Joseph
     Had run so low on oil
     That the little Baby Jesus
     Had to get eight days worth from the moil.

     Oh...Merry Christmas. Happy Chanukah. Kwanzaa time is here.
     It's the Fa-la-la Deidle-dum Jambo-jambo time of year.
     Gloria...Boruch Ato... In excelsis deo
     Daylight come.
     Parrumppa pum pum.
     Tell it your own way-oh.

     It came upon a Ramadan.
     The gladsome tidings swirled
     And told about the mircale
     To all the waiting world.
     And to confirm this miracle
     Of epoch-making scale,
     On the day right after Christmas
     Every single item went on sale.


                       =A9 1997 Limousine Music Co. (ASCAP)

The Ballad of Salman Rushdie

     Salman Rushdie writes a novel.
     The Ayatollah gets upset.
     "Post the head of Salman Rushdie
     From the highest minaret."
     But Salman says, "I am a writer.
     I'll write anything I want."

     Susan Sontag gets a phonecall.
     "Salman's been condemned to die!"
     She organizes all the writers.
     Howls of protest. What a hue and cry!
     Sontag says, "We are Salman."
     Updike says, "We are Salman."
     Styron says, "We are Salman."
     Publicly they're saying,
     "Salman sure has guts!"
     Privately they're thinking,
     "Salman must be nuts!

     "Because you don't bash a beehive
     With a baseball bat.
     And you don't pluck the nose hairs
     Of a crazy man.
     You don't kick a savage bull
     In the testicle
     Unless you want to see the Shiite hit the fan."

     Viking Penguin gets a bomb threat.
     Do they bail out or persist?
     They get the courage to continue
     From the Times Bestseller list.
     Viking says, "Free speech!"
     Sontag says, "We are Salman."
     Salman says, "I am a writer.
     I'll write anything I want!"

     The Ayatollah kicks the bucket.
     This should lighten Salman's load.
     Then the new guy, Rafsanjani,
     Tells the world they're still PO'ed.
     Rafi says, "Death to Salman."
     Viking says, "Free speech!"
     Sontag says, "We are Salman."
     Updike says, "We are Salman."
     Mailer says, "I am Salman."
     Mamet says, "Oh, fuck you, Norman!"
     Bellow says, Boys, boys..."

     All the famous writers, they're so busy fighting.
     Salman is the only writer who is writing.
     "Salman's writing?? What's he writing?
     How can he be writing? I thought he was depressed."

     Salman's agent, Andrew Wylie,
     Gets a typescript at his pad.
     This one's so god-damned offensive
     Even Unitarians are mad.
     But Wylie says, [Music: "We're in the money"]
     Viking says, "Free speech!"
     Sontag says, "We're still Salman."

     Up in Stockholm, Salman's new one
     Makes the short list for The Prize.
     Now he's writing for The Ages.
     What's a few years living in disguise?
     Sweden says, "Hyundar gewickelburg."
     (That means "Brilliant!")
     Wylie says, "Seven figures."
     Viking says, "(Gulp) Gotta pay it."
     Sontag says, "Seven figures! Fuck you, Salman!"
     Salman says, "I am a writer and I'll show you how it's done--

     "You simply bash the beehive
     With a baseball bat.
     Then you pluck the nose hairs
     Of the crazy man.
     Then you kick the savage bull
     In the testicle.
     Anything to make the Shiite
     Hit the fan."

                       =A9 1988 Limousine Music Co. (ASCAP)

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