IJMC Been There, Flown That

                     IJMC - Been There, Flown That

A little followup with a few more travel agent stories that missed the 
last bus. If you haven't guessed by now, I'm dissapearing for a few days. 
Actually, for a whole week. Last trip for a while and one more IJMC for 
tonight. Then I'll fill your mailbox again when I return...have a 
wonderful week, and think pleasant thoughts about me and my final exams. 
I may need the help!                                                -dave

The following are actual stories told by travel agents about their
actual experiences (and you wonder why US citizens generally score
less than the rest of the world on geography):

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii.  After going
over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to
California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to
explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she
interrupted me: "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown
is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid
one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in
Her response: Click.

A secretary called in looking for a hotel in Los Angeles. She gave me
various names off a list, none of which I could find. I finally had
her fax me the list. To my surprise, it was a list of hotels in New
Orleans, Louisiana, which has the postal zip code LA.  She thought the
LA stood
for Los Angeles and that New Orleans was a suburb of L.A.  Worst of
all, when I called her back, she wasn't even embarrassed.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was
wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried to explain that that's not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me.
I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from
Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas.  When I
pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a one hour layover in
Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I
heard Dallas was a big airport and I need a car to drive between the
to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that
her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 AM and got into Chicago at 8:33 AM.
tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she
couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the
went very fast and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description
on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why

do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline,
put a tag on my luggage that said FAT and I'm overweight.  Is there
any connection?"   After putting her on hold for a minute, while I
into it" (I was actually laughing), I came back and explained that the
city code for Fresno is FAT and that the airline was just putting a
destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which
plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he
replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes
have numbers on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those
computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a
commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been
to China many times and never had to have one of those."  I double
checked and, sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him
this, he said, "Look, I've been to China 4 times and every time they
have accepted my American Express.


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IJMC June 1998 Archives