IJMC - Top 16 Reasons to fear Chinese Restaurants

Not quite ready for prime time, but that makes it perfect for the IJMC! 
Here's an original submission from one of our readers. Enjoy!     -dave






        ---SUBMISSIONS to IJMC (I think IJMC, maybe a different one)---



Hi, Dave... hope you like it

        Top few reasons to fear Chinese restaurants

1. Who knows what they're _really_ saying back there in the kitchen 
when they start chattering excitedly in Chinese.

2. The Moo Goo Guy -- need I say more?

3. The Poo Poo Platter -- I don't think this needs much explanation 
either.

4. The Happy Family -- Ozzie and Harriet in our own special sauce.

5. The Hung Chow -- Either a dangling dog or a stopped-up slant.

6. One Hung Low -- The dog is still alive or I don't wanna talk about 
the other option

7. The person who takes your order can't understand 
what you're 
saying so there is no guarantee that you did not just order cow 
entrails.

8. Those big golden statues of lions and buddhas outside the door.  
You know they couldn't afford solid gold, so what do they keep 
inside?  The dead bodies of people who died of food poisoning and are 
still fresh enough to be autopsied?

9. You are never allowed to see into the kitchen.

10. Noodles are supposed to come in boxes, not some bag with an evil 
looking foreign letter on it.

11. A recent report indicates that since this list was distributed, 
even McDonalds' food is better for you (less anxiety about the ill 
effects of what you're eating).

12. They give you more for your money, making you wonder just how 
cheap they get the stuff (the local dump gives stuff away free, 
excellent way to cut down costs).

13. Human Beef...Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

14. Human Chicken...Just something about that name...

15. General Tso's Chicken - Ever wonder why he stopped eating it so 
suddenly?

16. Young Chow -- First veal, now this?


-- by the Roadtoad