IJMC - Girlfriend Communication Guide

It's been a while since we've had a "one sex slams the other" post, I
wonder if we sould have Boyfriend Communication Guide for tomorrow? What
he says - "Get me a beer" What he really means - "Get me a beer"   -dave




             GIRLFRIEND COMMUNICATION GUIDE
            ================================

 WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND         WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND
      SAYS ...                    REALLY MEANS
    

 * You want              <=>  You want
 * We need               <=>  I want
 * It's your decision    <=>  The correct decision should be obvious
                              by now.
 * Do what you want      <=>  You'll pay for this later
 * We need to talk       <=>  I need to complain
 * Sure... go ahead      <=>  I don't want you to.
 * I'm not upset         <=>  Of course I'm upset,you moron.
 * You're ... so manly   <=>  You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
 * You're certainly      <=>  Is sex all you ever think about?
   attentive tonight.
 * I'm not emotional!    <=>  I'm on my period.
   And I'm not
   overreacting!
 * Be romantic, turn     <=>  I have flabby thighs.
   out the lights.
 * This kitchen is so    <=>  I want a new house.
   inconvenient
 * I want new curtains   <=>  and carpeting, and furniture, and
                              wallpaper.....
 * I need wedding shoes  <=>  the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade
                              of white
 * Hang the picture      <=>  NO, I mean hang it there!
   there
 * I heard a noise       <=>  I noticed you were almost asleep.
 * Do you love me?       <=>  I'm going to ask for something
                              expensive.
 * How much do you love  <=>  I did something today you're really not
   me?                        going to like.
 * I'll be ready in      <=>  Kick off your shoes and find a good
   a minute.                  game on T.V.
 * Is my butt fat?       <=>  Tell me I'm beautiful.
 * You have to learn     <=>  Just agree with me.
   to communicate.
 * Are you listening     <=>  [Too late, your dead.]
   to me!?
 * Yes                   <=>  No
 * No                    <=>  No
 * Maybe                 <=>  No
 * I'm sorry.            <=>  You'll be sorry.
 * Do you like this      <=>  It's easy to fix,
   recipe?                    so you'd better get used to it.
 * Was that the baby ?   <=>  Why don't you get out of bed and
                              walk him until he goes to sleep.
 * I'm not yelling!      <=>  Yes I am yelling because
                              I think this is important.
 * All we're going to    <=>  It goes without saying that we're
   buy is a soap dish         stopping at the cosmetics department,
                              the shoe department, I need to look
                  at a few new pocket books, and OMIGIOD
                  there's a  pink sheets look great in
                  the bedroom and did you bring your
                  checkbook?

In answer to "What's wrong?"

 * The same old thing.   <=>  Nothing.
 * Nothing.              <=>  Everything.
 * Everything.           <=>  My PMS is acting up.
 * Nothing, really.      <=>  It's just that you're such an asshole.
 * I don't want to       <=>  Go away, I'm still building up steam.
   talk about it.