IJMC The Unnofficial Smilie Dictionary

		   IJMC - The Unnofficial Smilie Dictionary

   Yesiree bob, have we got a deal for you! Today, and today only, we're 
making available to you, The Unnofficial Smilie Dictionary! You're 
thinking, "but dave, I've already got a Dictionary!" You may already 
have a dictionary, that's true. But does your dictionary help you in 
better communicating with your net.peers?! Does your dictionary contain 
up-to-the-minute (*not available in all areas) smilies? Can your 
dictionary do this:

I didn't think so! And not only can the Unnofficial Smilie Dictionary do 
all that, it's absolutely free! That's right, for this one time special 
members-only offer, we're providing the Unnofficial Smilie Dictionary at 
our cost, free! So don't just stand there, order now, operators are 
standing by!							   -dave 

The Unofficial Smilie Dictionary

:-)   Your basic smilie. This smilie is used to inflect a
      sarcastic or joking statement since we can't hear
      voice inflection over Unix.
;-)   Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious and/or
      sarcastic remark. More of a "don't hit me for
      what I just said" smilie.
:-(   Frowning smilie. User did not like that last
      statement or is upset or depressed about something.
:-I   Indifferent smilie. Better than a Frowning smilie
      but not quite as good as a happy smilie
:->   User just made a really biting sarcastic remark.
      Worse than a :-).
>:->  User just made a really devilish remark.
>;->  Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark
      was just made.

Those are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat
      less common ones:

(-:   User is left handed
%-)   User has been staring at a green screen for
      15 hours straight
:*)   User is drunk
[:]   User is a robot
8-)   User is wearing sunglasses
B:-)  Sunglasses on head
::-)  User wears normal glasses
B-)   User wears horn-rimmed glasses
8:-)  User is a little girl
:-)-8 User is a Big girl
:-{)  User has a mustache
:-{}  User wears lipstick
{:-)  User wears a toupee
}:-(  Toupee in an updraft
:-[   User is a Vampire
:-E   Bucktoothed vampire
:-F   Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
:-7   User juust made a wry statement
:-*   User just ate something sour
:-)~  User drools
:-~)  User has a cold
:'-(  User is crying
:'-)  User is so happy, s/he is crying
:-@   User is screaming
:-#   User wears braces
:^)   User has a broken nose
:v)   User has a broken nose, but it's the other way
:_)   User's nose is sliding off of his face
:<)   User is from an Ivy League School
:-&   User is tongue tied.
=:-)  User is a hosehead
-:-)  User is a punk rocker
-:-(  (real punk rockers don't smile)
:=)   User has two noses
+-:-) User is the Pope or holds some other religious office
`:-)  User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
,:-)  Same thing...other side
|-I   User is asleep
|-O   User is yawning/snoring
:-Q   User is a smoker
:-?   User smokes a pipe
O-)   Megaton Man On Patrol!  (or else, user is a scuba diver)
O :-) User is an angel (at heart, at least)
:-P   Nyahhhh!
:-S   User just made an incoherent statement
:-D   User is laughing (at you!)
:-X   User's lips are sealed
:-C   User is really bummed
<|-)  User is Chinese
<|-(  User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes
:-/   User is skeptical
C=:-) User is a chef
@=    User is pro-nuclear war
*<:-) User is wearing a Santa Claus Hat
:-o   Uh oh!
(8-o  It's Mr. Bill!
*:o)  And Bozo the Clown!
3:]   Pet smilie
3:[   Mean Pet smilie
d8=   Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat.
E-:-) User is a Ham radio operator
:-9   User is licking his/her lips
%-6   User is braindead
[:-)  User is wearing a walkman
(:I   User is an egghead
<:-I  User is a dunce
K:P   User is a little kid with a propeller beenie
@:-)  User is wearing a turban
:-0   No Yelling!  (Quiet Lab)
:-:   Mutant Smilie
      The invisible smilie
.-)   User only has one eye
,-)   Ditto...but he's winking
X-(   User just died
8 :-) User is a wizard
C=}>;*{))  Mega-Smilie... A drunk, devilish chef with
      a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a
      double chin

Note: A lot of these can be typed without noses to
      make midget smilies.

:)   Midget smilie
:]   Gleep...a friendly midget smilie who will gladly
     be your friend
=)   Variation on a theme...
:}   What should we call these? (what?)
:)   Happy
:>   what?
:@   what?
:D   Laughter
:I   Hmmm...
:(   Sad
:[   Real Downer
:<   what?
:{   what?
:O   Yelling
:C   what?
:Q   what?
:,(  Crying
[]   Hugs and
:*   Kisses
|I   Asleep
|^o  Snoring

:-`   smiley spitting out its chewing tobacco
:-1   smiley bland face
:-!           "
:-@   smiley face screaming
:-#|  smiley face with bushy mustache
:-$   smiley face with it's mouth wired shut
:-%   smiley banker
:-6   smiley after eating something sour
:^)   smiley with pointy nose (righty)
:-7   smiley after a wry statement
8-)   smiley swimmer
:-*   smiley after eating something bitter
:-&   smiley which is tongue-tied
:-0   smiley orator
      smiley invisible man
(:-(  unsmiley frowning
(:-)  smiley big-face
):-)          "
):-(  unsmiley big-face
)8-)  scuba smiley big-face
=:-)  smiley punk-rocker
=:-(  (real punk rockers don't smile)
+:-)  smiley priest
:-q   smiley trying to touch its tongue to its nose
:-e   disappointed smiley
:-t   cross smiley
:-i   semi-smiley
:-o   smiley singing national anthem
:-p   smiley sticking its tongue out (at you!)
:-[   un-smiley blockhead
:-]   smiley blockhead
:-{   smiley variation on a theme
:-}   ditto
{:-)  smiley with its hair parted in the middle
}:-)  above in an updraft
:-a   lefty smilely touching tongue to nose
:-s   smiley after a BIZARRE comment
:-d   lefty smiley razzing you
g-)   smiley with ponce-nez glasses
:-j   left smiling smilely
:-k   beats me, looks like something, tho.
:-l   y. a. s.
:-:   mutant smiley
:-\   undecided smiley
:-|   "have an ordinary day" smiley
;-)   winking smiley
:-<   real sad smiley
:->   y.a.s.
:-z   y.a.c.s.
:-x   "my lips are sealed" smiley
:-c   bummed out smiley
:-v   talking head smiley
:v)   left-pointing nose smiley
:-b   left-pointing tongue smiley
:-/   lefty undecided smiley
:-?   smilely smoking a pipe
.-]   one-eyed smilely
,-}   wry and winking
0-)   smiley cyclops (scuba diver?)
:-=)  older smiley with mustache
:u)   smiley with funny-looking left nose
:n)   smiley with funny-looking right nose
:<    midget unsmiley
:>    midget smiley
}:^#})  mega-smiley:  updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with
                       a double-chin
:-)     ha ha
~~:-(   net.flame
|-)     hee hee
O |-)   net.religion
|-D     ho ho
:->     hey hey
8 :-I   net.unix-wizards
:-(     boo hoo
X-(     net.suicide
:-I     hmm
E-:-I   net.ham-radio
:-O     uh oh
>:-I    net.startrek
:-P     nyah nyah
3:o[    net.pets
|-P     yuk
:-}     beard
:-{     mustache
:-#     braces
:-X     bow tie
:-Q     smoker
<:I     dunce
(:I     egghead
@:I     turban
8-)     glasses
B-)     horn-rims
8:-)    glasses on forehead
:-8(    condescending stare
;-)     wink
>:-<    mad

Drama :-(       Comedy :-)
Surpise :-o     Suspense 8-|

Male    :-      Female  >-
Birth   |-O     Death 8-#
Infinity        8

---<--{(@  Its a Rose!

ADDENDUM to the Unofficial Smilie Dictionary
from Creative Loafing, June 3, 1995

"Smile in Your Face" by Rodger Brown.

   What seemed to peeve the founder of the SOSS was a perceived sense that 
the use of smileys counts as laziness. He suggested taht smileys are crutches 
for the illiterate and verbally handicapped. If you can't get your meaning 
across using just words, he says, then you need to stop and rewrite until you 
   The SOSS was intended, I suspect, partly as a joke, but the attack on 
the use of smileys did not go unchallenged. Quickly a number of discussion
lists were cluttered with postings defending the use of smileys as a 
paralinguistic adaptation to communication on line. Smileys make up for 
the lack of face-to-face communication, the defenders argued. Smileys 
take the pleace of the wink, the nod, the cocked head, the raised 
eyebrow, the curled lip, the pursed mouth, the rolled eyes, the flapping 
hands and the flared nostrils that make basic ones as well as are some 
that we suggest that be put into heavier rotation:

:-)The basic smiley. Suggests good humor.
;-)The basic wink. Signals an inside joke among co-conspirators.
:-(The basic frown. Means "I'm frowning."
`:-)Boyish grin
8-)Boi-oi-oi-oing. Means "What a deal! or "I've just seen you naked."
:-{)"I'm a guy with a pencil-line moustache and a plaid jacket and I hang
out in the lounge at the Holiday Inn. See you there, baby."
:-Q"I'm getting ashes in my keyboard."
:-VYap yap yap yap yap.
:-9Licking lips, full of anticipation. Also can be spelled 8-9
]-OIt's your little boy talkin to ya, Mammy.
<:-)I like Chinese food.
:-/Wisecracking toughguy. A variation of "I'm getting ashes in my
:-@My boss makes me puke.
:-#Top secret. Eat this e-mail.
X-]ben out late. escuez th etyposs.
:-()Beavis' "huh, huh huh huh huh, huh huh."
;->>Butt-head's "heh, heh heh heh, heh."
:-2Right now I feel like one of those people in movies who go crazy and
stand in front of bathroom mirrors and smear their mouths with
%-)I'm drunk, but in a good way.
%-@I'm drunk, but in a bad way.
*C:-)I am an enlightened being who has opened the channels to my seventh
chakra, so you need to listen to what I have to say.
<+:-)I'm running for Pope.
o>-<I look like Kate Moss.
o>O<I am the earthmother. (Can also mean, "I am a 'Roseanne' fan.")
L:-7I am an Elvis impersonator.
-:-)I have a mohawk.
>-I am a female.
)-I am a male.

IJMC July 1995 Archives