IJMC - New Year's Resolutions

	New Year's Resolutions
	 	    IJMC - New Year's Resolutions

Okay, so the queue makes mistakes once in a while...this should have been 
sent out months ago. Just figure, if you have Christmas in July, you can 
have New Year's in August...good enough for the two-step.	    -dave



               "MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS - 1995 Edition"

  Resolution #1
  -------------
1992: I will try to be a better husband to Marge.
1993: I will not leave Marge.
1994: I will try for a reconciliation with Marge.
1995: I will try to be a better husband to Wanda.

  Resolution #2
  -------------
1992: I will stop looking at other women.
1993: I will not get involved with Wanda.
1994: I will not let Wanda pressure me into another marriage.
1995: I will stop looking at other women.

  Resolution #3
  -------------
1992: I will not let my boss push me around.
1993: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of
      suicide.
1994: I will stick up for my rights when my boss bullies me.
1995: I will tell Dr. Hodger and the group about my boss.

  Resolution #4
  -------------
1992: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
1993: I will read at least 10 books a year.
1994: I will read 5 books a year.
1995: I will finish "MS DOS 2.0 Made Easy."

  Resolution #5
  -------------
1992: I will not get upset when Charlie and Sam make jokes about
      my baldness.
1993: I will not get annoyed when Charlie and Sam kid me about my
      toupee.
1994: I will not lose my temper when they tell the guys I wear a
      girdle.
1995: I will not speak to Charlie and Sam.

  Resolution #6
  -------------
1992: I will get my weight down below 180.
1993: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.
1994: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below
      200.
1995: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.

  Resolution #7
  -------------
1992: I will not take a drink before 5:00 p.m.
1993: I will not touch the bottle before noon.
1994: I will not become a "problem drinker".
1995: I will not miss any AA meetings.

  Resolution #8
  -------------
1992: I will not spend my money frivolously.
1993: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
1994: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.
1995: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by
      2001.

  Resolution #9
  -------------
1992: I will see my dentist this year.
1993: I will have my cavities filled this year.
1994: I will have my root canal work done this year.
1995: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.

  Resolution #10
  --------------
1992: I will go to church every Sunday.
1993: I will go to church as often as possible.
1994: I will set aside time each day for prayer and meditation.
1995: I will try to catch the late night sermonette on TV.

  Resolution #11
  -------------
1992: I will spend more time with my children.
1993: I will try to remember my children's names.
1994: I will bail my kids out of jail more quickly.
1995: I will try to find my kids.

  Resolution #12
  --------------
1992: I will upgrade my XT computer.
1993: I will find programs which still run on my XT computer.
1994: I will not be frustrated with my XT computer.
1995: I will buy a computer to replace my destroyed XT computer.

Thanks Ken Ellis [He never met a resolution he couldn't break]
August 1995 Archives